Why We Can Never Go To West Village Wollaston's Again:

It all started with some toilet paper, or rather, lack thereof.  

It's early Monday morning, and we in room 510 realize that we've  run dry.  Kristen and I decide that on the way back from our morning jog that we'll make a little pit stop at our local Wollaston's to pick some up, overpriced though it may be.  Kristen grabs a five-dollar bill and puts it in the customary running storage space...  her sports bra.  

We run.

We stop at Wollaston's.  

The proprietor of Wollaston's is a 50-something year old man, gray of hair, sparse of smiles. On this particular Monday morning, as he reflected on the dismal state of his life  (as proprietor of frozen foods for college kids) Kristen's damp $5 bill put him right over the edge.

Kristen handed him the bill apologetically, "Sorry, it's a little damp."

He looks at the bill, looks at Kristen's smiling face, a bit red from the run and replies,

"WITH YOUR SWEAT?"

We both laugh a little, a slightly embarrassing comment, sure, but assuming that this will be a humorous interaction for everyone involved. All the other cashiers are laughing, the customers behind us are smiling, and we're all having a good time.   That is, until:

"I don't even WANT to take this"

Oh, wait a sec.  He's not joking... he's actually repulsed.  C'mon now, we're all thinking, it's not like she dug it out of her bra in front of you, coughing and slobbering all the while.  She took it out a couple of minutes ago and dried it off a bit.  There's no blood or snot marring Lincoln's green little face, its just a slightly damp little piece of paper and wet or not, it's still worth a full five dollars.  Also, its the only money we have... and we were buying necessities.  

Kristen pushed on, unabashedly.

"I'll put it in the drawer for you if you want,"

He wasn't having that either.  He actually huffed, crossed his arms, and stood back from the register, shaking his head.  

"I don't even want to take it."

Kristen tries again, "No really, I'll put it in the drawer."

A silence ensues.  A standoff.  A clash of the titans.  We look at him.  He huffs and puffs, turning red, blustering.  The eyes of cashiers and customers oscillate between his flustered face and our bemused expressions.

Nothing happens.  And then:

He snatches the bill from the counter, quickly counts the change, and without ever making eye contact with either of us says, 

"Think about what you're doing next time.  THINK about it."  

We've won.  We proudly take our toilet paper and march on out of there.  We are the winners, we are General Ulysses S. Grant leaving the Antietam courthouse, and we will have enough toilet paper to last us the week.  

Here we are now, going to the southside

Radio Playlists - Baltimore and Canada

Here are the playlists from my past two radio shows.

Baltimore - 10/21:

Andy Cush “Road Trip”
Dan Deacon “Wham City” from Spiderman of the Rings
The Death Set “Negative Thinking” from Worldwide
The Death Set “Around The World” from Worldwide
Ocdj “Bid TIme Stuff” from Horray!
Spank Rock “Chilly Will” from yo yo yo
Panda Bear “Comfy in Nautica”
Animal Collective “For Reverend Green” from Strawberry Jam
Frank Zappa “Joe's Garage” from Joe's Garage - Act 1
Andy Cush “Silver Lake”
Andy Cush “Song for Paco”
Beach House “Master of None” from Beach House
Sound Coloring Book “Womb”
Liz King “Til They Do”
The Moldy Peaches “Nothing Came Out” from The Moldy Peaches 
Beach House “Wedding Bell” from Beach House
Talking Heads “Once in a Lifetime” from Sand in the Vaseline
M.I.A “The Turn” from Kala
Videohippos “Koolshades” from Unbeast the Leash

Canada -  10/28:

Andy Cush “Road Trip”
Cloud Cult “Moving to Canada” from Advice from the Happy Hippopotamus
Buck 65 “Way Back When” from Situation
Wolf Parade “Shine A Light” from Apologies to Queen Mary
Feist “Mushaboom (K-Os Remix)” from Open Season
Of Montreal “I Was Never Young” from The Sunlandic Twins
MSTRKRFT “Easy Love” from The Looks
The Arcade Fire “Antichrist Television Blues” from Neon Bible
The New Pornographers “The Fake Headlines” from Mass Romantic
Broken Social Scene “Canada vs. America” from EP to be you and me
Islands “Jogging Gorgeous Summer” from Return to the Sea
A Silver Mount Zion “Godspeed You Black Emperor” from A Silver Mount Zion
Stars “Your Ex-Lover is Dead” from Set Yourself on Fire
The Russian Futurists “Let's Get Ready to Crumble”
Metric “Grow Up and Blow Away” from Static Anonymity
Broken Social Scene Presents Kevin Drew “Gang Bang Suicide” from Spirit If..
Final Fantasy “Many Lives” from He Poos Clouds
Joni Mitchell “California” from Hits
Neil Young “Old Man” from Harvest
Barenaked Ladies “One Week” from Stunt
Feist “1 2 3 4” from The Reminder

Listen up this Tuesday (election day) from 8 - 10 pm on wrbb radio (104.9 in the back bay area and online at wrbbradio.org) to hear sounds of Barack Obama. Music from Hawaii, Indonesia, Illinois, and more!

All Hallows Eve

The best weather on All Hallows Eve

That I ever did see

Cribbage in the park,

Bike rides in the dark,

sunshine and friends

too good to comprehend

As close as you can get to

a perfect day, with the election only

two days away...

Also...

We met in the gutter, we shared a smoke or two...oh Cribbage

Dear Cribbage,
We first met when I was eight, though my appreciation and recognition of your credence amongst card games came much later. It was my Memere who first suggested we convene. "Oh Kris, I'm about to consummate my skills with your Pepere and cribbage in the kitchen, would you like to join?" It sounded bawdy; I opted to watch. Next thing I knew, your bodily board was laid, your cards dealt, and ardent tension ensued after just two cribs. Unaware of the implications, I had boarded your kiddy-coaster peaking only to reveal the macho twister on the distant edge of the amusement park, desiring so to reach its glorious zenith. Pepere lashed out, "Ah HAH!" with his double double run that would peg 16, while Memere maintained tenure of her composed demeanor. With her unrevealed Jack-Jack-Jack-5 hand, she gently closed her eyes and cut the deck, eager to re-clench her lead. Crib-Almighty-Bless-You, a 5 was cut (A stroke which I now know was undoubtedly a gift bestowed by your Cribbage Deity that reward those with skill and composed demeanors- I am working on the latter and will soon gain their favor). The pegging began. I was enthralled in your alien point system. The shouting of fifteens, 2,4,6,8! "Nobs, I'll surely skunk you now, hun!" Oh the insanity! Later that afternoon, after Pepere had finished Memere's perfunctory household duties (a small price to pay for his loss as his temper administered some bellowing of sorts) I decided we must court and I embarked upon my first game: the result of which was the onset of a prolonged record of defeat. Since that day, I've gained recognition for boosting even the most inexperienced and pitiful player's morale. It is not a reputation I had strived for, but it is one that I have come to accept and embrace with honor and pride. I'm trying to stay focused on the positive, you see. I hope you understand that I want this relationship as much as you do, honest! Just cut me some slack, and for Cribs sake, put out more. What do you say?

See you at dinner sweets,
Kristen

DO IT. http://cribbage.org/

FIRST RADIO SHOW!

I had my first radio show tonight. It started off kinda shaky, with a computer that crashed and wouldn't start and a malfunctioning i-pod dock. But with a few jokes, a PSA about raisins, and some Dosh to hold us over (thanks Tricia) all turned out okay. 

Who knew having a radio show was so much fun? Have a dance party, hang out with good friends, talk about shit, and play whatever muzic I want. Man. My mom does this for a living? Another thing she's gotten right.

Here is the info about the show:

The Road Trip 

with The Red Bullet

Tuesdays, 8 - 10 pm EST

104.9 in the Back Bay area and

online at WRBBradio.org

Flyers to come designed by Ross Robert Yates. Fuck yeah. 

The schtick for my show is that each week I will be playing music from a different location. This week, I played music solely from my hometown of Minneapolis, MN. I had on my good friend Tricia from the land of the lakes and we talked about the MN music scene, hot dish, and sightings of Prince at the supermarket (it happens). 

Here is the playlist: 

Dosh “Mpls Rock and Roll” from The List Take
Fred Savage and The Unbeatables “Cliff Turk Sucks” 
Happy Apple “Paulies Quick Temper Has Gotten Him Into a Few Jams” 
Atmosphere “Always Coming Back Home to You” from Seven's Travels (Rhymesayers / Epitaph 2003)
Brother Ali “Forest Whitaker” from Shadows on the Sun (Rhymesayers)
Dessa “Everything Floats” from FalseHopes
Prince “Let's Go Crazy” from Purple Rain
Lucy Michelle & the Velvet Lapels “When the World Turned Off It's Lights” from Orange Peels and Rattlesnakes
Cloud Cult “Living on the Outside of Your Skin” from Advice from the Happy Hippopotamus
Zibra Zibra “Goodnight Rockstar!” 
Brother & Sister “b e s t s i s t e r e v e r” 
The Replacements “Beer for Breakfast” from All For Nothing/Nothing for All (1984)
Down and Above “Montana” from Vena Cava
P.O.S. “De la Souls” from Audition (Rhymesayers)
Eyedea & Abilities “Now” from E&A
Bob Dylan “I Want You” from Blonde on Blonde (1966)
Sims “Key Grip (fax)” from Lights Out Paris
Cecil Otter “Lakeshore Drifter” from Fasehopes
Atmosphere “Yesterday” from When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold (2008)
Doomtree “Slow Burn” from FalseHopes
Digitata “What's Cookin?” from sexually transmitted emotions
Bob Dylan “Don't Think Twice, It's Alright” from The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan

Tune in next week for tunes from the Baltimore, Maryland area with special guest star Andy Cush (incuding music from the Cushmeister himself).

YEAH COLLEGE!